Hey there my friends! So…I announced a few weeks ago that I am expecting baby number two in June, but other than that I’ve pretty much gone radio silent on my blog and this page. I’m finally in a place where I have the energy to share an update on where I’m at personally and professionally, as a Ft Worth newborn baby photographer…in case inquiring minds want to know.
I’ve been so quiet because I have been struggling through Hyperemesis Gravidarum (HG) with this pregnancy. HG is a condition that causes excessive nausea, vomiting, significant weight loss, and electrolyte disturbance in pregnancy. This is not your typical morning sickness jam, I promise. There is a scale of HG, so some people will have more mild cases and more severe instances will need hospitalization for fluids and nutrition through an IV line/feeding tube.
This post is uber long, but I wanted to write it all down because I know one thing that helped me tremendously through all this was reading others accounts of HG and how they were able to cope. So, I know it’s super long but hopefully this will be helpful to another woman out there struggling with this condition—or at least serve as a reminder to me in the years to come of the journey that occurred to add to our family.
I had mild HG while pregnant with my older son. That was my first pregnancy, and it took me weeks to realize that what I was experiencing was more than just standard morning sickness. I lost about 10 lbs and was in the ER two or three times for IV fluids before my first prenatal visit at 8 weeks. Once I finally saw the doctor she immediately prescribed Zofran, an anti-nausea med. I never felt good per say, and I was not able to eat a normal diet, but after week 22 of pregnancy the vomiting was more under control. I was still limited to a handful of “safe foods”- green apple with peanut butter, mint ice cream, baked chicken, protein shakes and protein bars–even into the last few weeks. At the end of that ordeal I was blessed with a healthy, 9 lb 3 oz boy. Clearly, he was none worse for the wear despite what I went through. In fact, a few days after delivery when the swelling and fluid retention had subsided I actually weighed LESS than my pre-pregnancy weight. This is not a humble brag by any means, it’s just a way to explain how much weight was lost during that pregnancy and how little I was actually able to keep down over the course of 9 months. Fear not, I ended up gaining the weight back and reaching the weight that I usually live at.
The experience of my first pregnancy was one of the main reasons my husband and I decided to wait a while before adding to our family. We both really wanted our older child to be somewhat independent and to be able to understand what was happening to mommy should I have HG again. My son is now in pre-K, so when I found out I was pregnant in early October it was basically perfect timing. Hooray!!
I was already experiencing sickness by week 5 of pregnancy. Now, here’s where I’m going to put the hairy details, so if you’re squeamish or want to skip past paragraphs about barfing then this is your fair warning.
The HG this time around was much more severe. Within 2 weeks I had lost 12 lbs, and within 3 weeks I was down 18 lbs. That’s close to 15% of my original body weight.
The HG made my body reject all food and water. Well-meaning people would say things like, “Try crackers in the morning. Drink ginger ale. Try preggo-pops! Some herbal tea! Popsicles! Gatorade!” That drives HG sufferers crazy, because there is literally no magic potion of solid food or liquid that could EVER stay in my body. I would vomit (violently) 30 plus times a day. A sip of water would cause a vomiting episode lasting 10 minutes. I had nothing left in my stomach except bile, so that’s pretty much all I puked for weeks on end–straight stomach acid. Let me tell you…that feels awesome. And it’s great for your teeth too. The dentist will be very excited to see me in a few months I’m sure. Cha-ching.
Within a few days of this ordeal I was so weak that I couldn’t shower or dress without assistance, my hair was falling out in chunks and I was so fatigued that I couldn’t even lift my own head to puke. My skin was dry and peeling from lack of water, I had cracked and bleeding lips and nosebleeds.
I would have loved to distract myself with something like TV, visiting with friends, reading books or doing puzzles…but any noise, motion or light would exacerbate the HG. The worst part was that I couldn’t even take care of my son—the best I could do was let him lie next to me in bed while he watched a movie and I retched into a bucket. Eventually, it was so common place for me to puke next to him that he stopped noticing at all and would just keep his eyes peeled on whatever movie I had put on to distract him. I couldn’t bathe him, make his lunch for school, read to him, take him to soccer games or swim lessons. It was agony to be separated from him for weeks on end. Having been through this before, I knew that HG rarely ends at the customary 12 weeks like morning sickness does. If you’re lucky, it might start to wane around 20 weeks…but it almost never goes away completely until the baby is delivered. So, I was living through this nightmare feeling like a horrible mom, a horrible wife and not having the strength or capacity to do anything about it. And my light at the end of the tunnel was so very, very far away. I honestly had no idea how I would survive until week 40, and I spent most of my time curled in the fetal position praying to God to fall asleep because that was the only time I could escape the hell of HG.
This was not my first time at the HG rodeo, so I knew to get help ASAP. My doctor was able to prescribe Zofran again, but this time it didn’t work at all. My goal was to stay hydrated and keep out of the ER. I failed by week 6. I went in for a nurse-only OB visit so they could talk about trying some different anti-nausea medications. They tested my urine for dehydration and apparently I was so dehydrated it warranted an immediate trip across the street to the hospital. Not just the ER this time, but an actual admittance to the hospital.
I spent the night getting IV Zofran, fluids and some other meds. I felt tremendously better, but I also knew from my last pregnancy that IV Zofran is far superior to oral Zofran and that IV fluids make you feel like a million bucks. I knew all of that was temporary and I would likely start the whole puking/dehydration cycle again after leaving the hospital.
I was right. A few days after leaving the hospital I was right back where I started. Still losing weight uncontrollably. I finally made it to my week 8 appointment and that’s when the doctor decided to give me a Zofran pump.
A Zofran pump is similar to an insulin pump for a diabetic. My pump delivers a constant drip of Zofran through a subcutaneous IV in my abdomen. I have to wear the pump all day, every day. The only time I get to remove it is when I shower. I have to change my infusion site every day/every other day by poking myself with a needle in the abdomen. I remove the needle, which deposits a tiny catheter into my abdomen. The needle pokes are definitely not fun, but I have resigned myself to it. The medicine itself stings A LOT when it first goes into a new site, but after about 5 minutes I don’t feel it anymore. I know when it’s time to change my site because the skin around it gets over-saturated and puffy with medicine. I feel a lot of soreness—kind of like a tender bruise. The old sites are sore and itchy, leaving welts across my abdomen that may never fully go away. I’ve been doing the Zofran pump for about 5 weeks now, so I have run out of fresh locations for my sites and it is getting more challenging to pick a place that isn’t already bruised!
In addition to the Zofran pump, I have a home health care nurse who checks in daily. The nurse records my weight, ketones (shows whether I am dehydrated or not), how much I’ve vomited in the last day and she takes a record of what/how much I am eating. If I am dehydrated, the nurse will come out and give me an IV with fluids at home. That is a major positive from having to go to the hospital, but thankfully I have avoided that in the past few weeks. I’ve had enough needle pokes, thank you!!
It took about 2 weeks for my Zofran pump to really get working. They start you at a very low dosage and work up a day at a time to the appropriate level. I was still in the throes of HG hell for awhile after the pump, and really thought I was going to end up with a feeding tube. Finally, finally I got up to an appropriate dose and I am so happy to report that since late November I have been able to drink water and eat a little bit more each day. I have stopped losing weight, and even gained back 1 or 2 lbs. At my last doctor’s appointment I had a sono that showed baby is growing just perfect, which is a huge weight off my shoulders, because when you have HG you always worry about what it is doing to baby.
All of that to say that at the moment I have had to cut back on my business. I have a few cake smashes on the books after the New Year, but I am sure most of my loyal followers have noticed the complete lack of adorable babies on my site the past few months! I have been barely able to take care of myself, so working with other people’s babies is just not something I can do at the moment. I miss it so, so much and getting back to work is on the list of things I am most looking forward to once the HG isn’t kicking my booty anymore.
I also had to quit my Project 365. I made it to week 41(I think?), and I was so proud of myself for sticking to it. Once the HG hit I had no energy to pick up a camera…and honestly I still don’t, even though things are going so much better. I love taking photos, and this is just another thing that I can’t do right now. I have to accept it, but I admit it brings me close to tears to have gotten that far with my project and then giving up.
I know it will all be worth it when our newest addition shows up next summer. My greatest fear in sharing all of this was judgment from others who haven’t experienced it and who think HG is just a dramatic person’s version of morning sickness. I really can’t control what other people think though, and I know (and my family knows) what really happens behind the scenes and that’s all that matters. I also hope that this doesn’t come off as insensitive to folks who have struggled in other ways with fertility or pregnancy. We all have our own journeys and struggles, and my challenge through this pregnancy is not meant in any way to suggest that I am not grateful for this new baby. In fact, I knew there was a big likelihood of experiencing HG and yet made a conscious decision to add to our family. That should, in and of itself, show how much love and excitement we have for our new arrival!
So, now that I’ve delivered that long manifesto on my life I hope my lovely friends can understand why I’ve dropped off the face of the Earth. I am improving now with my Zofran pump and really hope to get to a place where I can start updating again with fun snuggly babies instead of boring ole health woes.
XO
Heather
Update September 2017
Hey guys!! So, the little peanut that was making me so sick last year is now almost 3 months old. I can’t say that time flew by, because the days are REALLY, REALLY slow with HG and it’s just a survival thing until you’re on the other side of it. I will say that the Zofran pump and home health care radically improved my condition and that I was weaned off around 20 weeks. I was still never fully myself until after baby got here, but the back half of this pregnancy was really a lot closer to the norm. Baby was born in June, just shy of 8lbs and all is well.
H Parker Photography is a Ft Worth Newborn Baby Photographer with a residential studio in Roanoke,TX.
She specializes in classic, timeless studio baby photographs.
Yikes! Sorry to hear you went through those complications. I’m glad you are feeling better and that baby is here.